This post is a scene that I wrote from a story. This is called “Coraline 2″, it is the sequel to “Coraline” the movie and book, you should go check out the first movie and book (not made by me). This story is written by me so I hope you enjoy reading!
“No my bracelet!” Caroline reached in the muddy hole. Something was grabbing her; it was like sandpaper scrapping against her hand with force. Tears swelled up daring to retreat from her eyes. She felt herself slip through the mud, it wasn’t solid ground. Caroline was a small skinny girl with raven black hair, she looked clumsy but she could handle herself. She saw not just darkness around her but she saw stars and drawings on paper. The black abyss looked like a child tunnel toy, filled with colors but this one was colorless. It felt like she was falling down the rabbit hole, it never stopped to her. She felt the wind pressing against her face like a forceful hug. Tears streamed from her brown globes like an upside-down waterfall. She saw ground finally. A sound echoed through the tunnel as she landed, a cartoon like sound of something springy. She looked down, a trampoline “What is this? Hello?! Get me out of here!” No one answered; she turned her head and started toward a curtain of leaves colored like a butterfly pattern. Her hand jerked back before entering the mysterious room but before she could make up her mind, she slipped backwards and fell, along with something dragging her through the colored leaves and bouncy floor. The sliding stopped and she jumped up, her eyes widened and her mouth hung open, her heart rate increased and you could hear her breathing from a mile away. She walked around the room; all of the items were familiar to her. The stove, the table, and all of the pots and pans, but one thing was scarily familiar, her mom.
“Why hello welcome back dear.”
Caroline backed up, her hands were shaking and she felt as if she could faint. “It’s you again! How is this possible? What do you want?” Caroline asked as her hands shook uncontrollably. “Oh why don’t you stop asking questions and sit down so we can catch up” she sounded like she knew everything about Caroline. Caroline had enough already, she couldn’t stand her ever since the incident with her real parents a year ago. That year she had found a secret door in their new house they bought, things weren’t going well. Her parents quarreled and turned their backs to Caroline. Once she found the door, she went through it and discovered this universe. It was good at first but then things turned rotten and scarce. This mom from the strange world kidnapped Caroline’s parents and held them hostage, Caroline had gotten them back but they didn’t remember anything, then her life turned good until now. She had worked so hard to save her parents and to defeat her so called “Mom”, too hard to give up now. The mom creature was tall and slender, her eyes drooped and her skin was almost glowing green with rotten texture, she had her old dotted dress and apron on from when Caroline first visited her. “Fine I’ll do what you want to do.”
“Thank you dear please have a seat so we can talk things through.” Caroline sat down without question she looked around the room more observantly this time, the walls leaked water, wall paper peeled off the wall and curled at the tips, the table was set but with horrible disgusting like food, before everything went wrong a year ago, the food was delicious and beautiful. The mom sat on the opposite side of the brown oak dining table. What was she going to do? She noticed the table was set and silverware was placed next to the white china plates, last time she was here she noticed that it was the opposite of the real world, she knew her real mom thought it was cute to play with food and then tell her to eat it. Her real mom also didn’t care much for messes around the house since a maid they hired helped clean. Caroline placed food on her plate and looked at her creature of a mom. She twisted her fork in a circle motion and placed her head on her hand. She sighed and looks at the mom who looked a little annoyed and agitated. It was working, she had figured it out. Caroline peered outside the window, it’s raining.
She stood up and ran outside the door, the door squeaked open in an aggressive way and made a booming sound of books dropping. Her feet squished in the brown dirt that turned into liquid on her rain boots. She darted back in leaving dust behind her. She stomped around marking the floor so it wouldn’t forget Caroline Evans. The mom stormed out “What are you doing?!” Caroline ran passed her, the mom caught her shirt collar and yanked her back thread tore like the hope of Caroline getting home. This wasn’t the end, Caroline never gave up. She scratched the arm of the mom creature and ran, ran through the butterfly leaves and ran through the jelly forest. She looked up at the light at the end of the tunnel, she would make it.
Some feedback I got was how I did good detailing the story and really painted a picture for the story. They also could tell that this story was about Coraline (the original story) without the title. They said it was confusing at some parts so I cleaned that up and made this final draft. I hope you enjoyed it too!
